Life has conflict, even when you’re a toddler.
Sometimes, our interpersonal conflict can get physical and in our deep need (speaking as a toddler here) to possess a coveted toy or object, someone else may get hurt when only one of us rises victorious from a scuffle over something. If you’ve spent much time around YBY, you’ll have noticed that we don’t train kids to “say sorry” to one another in these or any kind of situation. Instead, we practice the art of returning to check on the friend who has been hurt physically or emotionally (accidentally or otherwise).
Teachers model empathy and support a child in asking the injured party, “are you OK?” and “what do you need?” Suggestions are offered and any response is acceptable:
Do you need an ice pack? Would you like a wet paper towel? Do you want a hug? Do you need some space?
When children are able to help solve the problem (even the one they may have been party to creating), we instill in them the seeds of noticing the effects of their own actions and the way actions and consequences work together.
We practice checking on each other as groundwork for developing empathy and sharing genuine concern for our fellow beings.
Understanding the deeper concept of saying sorry and all that it entails will come later in their lives. In the meantime, meaningful development of caring for peers helps children learn how to repair a problem with a friend and strengthen their relationships along the way. In the end, doesn’t the world need a few more active problem-solvers with hearts full of empathy? I ask you.